Mistakes are good

It's okay to mess up and make a mistake. It is not okay to make the same mistake twice.

If you make the same mistake twice, it means one of two things:

You are an idiot

or

You don't care

And neither of those is a good option.

When I was a very little girl, I was terrified of getting in trouble. I was scared of getting anything less than perfect grades. I wanted to be right and good and perfect. And I actually thought it was possible to achieve this. Talk about high standards!! I learned, even as a 6-year-old, that if I got less than 100% on a test (even a 97%), I wouldn't get the present promised to me. Perfect was the only thing that would be good enough.

Guess what?!

I am allowed to make a mistake. After all, it is the only way to grow and learn. Whether it is miscommuniticating with a line cook, burning something, slipping up in recovery and putting yourself in a disastrous situation, doing something stupid in a relationship, you learn from it. Just don't make the same mistake again.

There are lists upon lists of new mistaks to make anyways!!

This advice is inspired by Chef Anand Chaturvedula of 240 Union Street in Lakewood, Colorado. He is an amazing chef with a bachelors degree in english and a culinary degree. The fact that he is ell educated shines through in his creativity. Such as in this chicken fried steak.

Served with mashed potatoes, green beans, and a delicious butter sauce.

We experience ceviche in a new way.

Scallop and tuna ceviche marinated in a blood orange tequila reduction.

Served with more reduction.

Some Blue Moon onions. Yes, Blue Moon beer. There is orange in the sauce, orange in the ceviche, and orange in the beer.

Also served with microgreens and wonton wrappers fried in duck fact. The brilliance does not stop. Ever.

We made our own samosa dough. Super easy dough to make. So I will share.

4 cups AP flour

1 tsp kosher salt

8 oz oil

8 oz water

Combine flour, salt, and water in a mixer. Add the oil for a few seconds. Finish by hand. Knead for about 5-10 minutes. Then wrap in saran wrap for 30 minutes.

Next step: have fun with the dough. Either bake it or fry it. Stuff it with whatever you want!!

Arancinis. Typically made with risotto. This time made with orzo risotto.

With little chunks of crab meat inside. Oh. My. Goodness. Oh, and it was fried in duck fat.

Potato salad. With lobster meat. With bacon fat. With homemade aioli (mayo). With celery and onions. Oh my goodness. This amazing concoction melded and came together overnight. So delicious.

We learned that you can marinate and tenderize chicken using egg whites. That, my friends, is chicken marinating in egg whites.

The chicken actually feels different in the egg whites. It is called Velvet Chicken, and that is exactly what you think when you touch the chicken.

Breaded and then fried in duck fat. You have never tried fried chicken like this. It transforms the meat. To see how wonderful the effect was, I took a drumstick.

Wow. I wanted more. Thankfully there was enough wonderful food all around me to keep me satsfied (and a bit overwhelmed).

Salmon ceviche served in a shot glass. I loved having the ceviche with all of the fried foods. It provided a nice, clean escape from the heavy foods.

And of course, we had to have homemade pasta carbonara. Fresh pasta. Small diced pancetta, peas, eggs, parsley. The pancetta was simply little squares of salt popping in my mouth. My. Goodness.

And freshly baked bread.

Chef Anand's brilliance didn't stop with the amazing savory foods. To end the meal, we had a refreshing dessert. Little palettas (popsicles), mine made out of tamarind. So delicious! And some green apple slaw. It was the perfect, light, and almost cleansing dessert.

Today is day 10 in my new take on RECOVERY. I am not making the same mistakes again. My previous "mistakes" were:

Keeping my recovery to myself and not sharing with the people I care about, such as Stephen. How can he even begin to understand me and relate to me if I do not include him.

Loading my plate during class with too much food. Because, you know what, I get anxious during class. So I want to eat everything. If I keep it somewhat controlled, I can clean my plate and not feel uncomfortably full. Yet, still enjoy everything that we have created.

Assuming that trying something new and being in a new place will automatically leave my ed behind in the dust. It doesn't work that way. I need to keep growing and learning and moving forward. No matter what.

Going, and going, and going. I need time to stop and relax. I need a break someties. And I need to honor that.

If I make the same mistakes, it doesn't necessarily mean that I am an idiot or that I don't care, but it does mean that at a certain moment, I have lost sight of myself and my priorities.

That is something I will not do. I will not lose myself.