Moving Forward

Choices

Some people sit, some people try.

Some people laugh, some people cry.

Some people will, some people won't.

Some people do, some people don't.

Some people believe and develop a plan.

Some people doubt never think that they can.

Some people face hurdles and give it their best.

Some people back down when faced with a test.

Some people complain of their miserable lot.

Some people are thankful for all that they've got.

And when it's all over when it comes to an end.

Some people lose out and some people win.

We all have a choice, we all have a say.

We are spectators in life or we get in and play.

Whichever we choose how we handle life's game

The choices are ours, no one else is to blame.

Tom Kruse

Disney movies and fairy tales never warn you that life is going to be difficult. They never prepare you for what happens AFTER you find a "happily ever after." Yes she meets her prince charming...then what? Does life just float on at a constant state of bliss? Where are the challenges, and what actually happens behind the scenes?

After being in Boulder for 5 weeks and coping with culinary school excitement and a new job that has some great opportunities involved, part of me is freaking out. I wish I could see life at the end of this experience. I want to know that I will succeed and maybe get honors in the program. I want to know where I will be this summer. I want to know...well...I want to know everything.

These anxieties have caused me to have a huge fall in my attitude and self love. I have not been kind to my body at all, or kind to myself. To put it simply, I have beaten myself up over the past 4 days. Now, I can choose to sit and watch my life go down the drain as I grow more negative and weaker. Or I can take a step forward (even a baby step) and reclaim myself. A few days isn't going to destroy me. But staying inside of the hole will eventually and inevitably destroy me. It may feel safe to treat myself like crap, but safety doesn't feel good. When you play it safe you don't move forward. Here's to moving forward and forgiving myself. I only have myself to blame when I slip and fall. And I only have myself to be proud of when I triumph over my demons.

Ways that I will move forward today and reclaim myself:

• Eat well and exercise minimaly. I will be on my feet at work most of the day and don't need extra activity. My body needs rest right now.
• Put energy into creating a tasting plate for my the owner at my work. I am trying to put new sandwiches and a soup on the menu and add homemade cookies and scones to the mix. I need to practice for this little "event"that is happening tomorrow! Wish me luck!
• Work an extra adorable outfit to work today. Even wear my awesome new hat!
• Breathe deeply and savor everything around me.
• Be aware, and try not to dive so deeply into myself throughout today.

Life is never going to be easy, and when it gets too easy I want to always push myself to the next level. In order to have my life and enjoy it, I nee something essential. I need ME. I need my health: physical and mental.

It is that simple. How I get there isn't too important. What matters is that I return to a healthy, vibrant, energetic Astrid that smiles, laughs, an sings to herself as often (hopefully more often) than she pouts and cries.

In honor of everyone that may be struggling this week, do me a favor. Send someone an email, note, phone call, that you haven't spoken to or contacted in a while. Reach out to someone and make their day. Everything loves to feel thought about.

Looking at the production sheet for Monday, you will notice that this was pastry week.

Most people in the kitchen were completely out of their element as we scurrie to assemble our mise en place. Baking, unlike cooking, is extremely temperamental. Everything nees to be laid out and at the correct temperature. I find this process very soothing. I love making lists and planning things out. So to have everything laid out and ready to go makes me feel calm.

We made our own baguettes.

And made them extremely beautiful.

Eating some in some olive oil and balsamic was heavenly. There are few things in this world that feel better than eating fresh bread.

For our food this week we had quiche made with homemade crusts. I could seriously eat the crust on its own. Actually, pie crust could be a food group in itself. It is so magically flakey, buttery, and delicious.

I feel badly for those people who choose to eat quiche without crust. Isn't that the whole point of eating a pie? Yes, pie crust has butter. And that butter is DELICIOUS. Deal with it.

We had some successes in making pastry cream and custards.

Creme brulees were made, but they are yet to be eaten. I wonder if we forgot about them?

We also succeeded to burning out Pate Sucree. These are our sweet dough crusts. Basically a sugar cookie crust. We left them in the oven for far too long. That's what happens when you have too many things going on in the kitchen.

Sadness.

But as I previously mentioned, sadness can be cured by a delicious slice of quiche.

There is your typical super eggy quiche. Anyone can handle this one. It is light and tasty with nice pockets of pungent cheese.

This slice is only for the strong of heart. It is basically pure cheese, most of it being blue cheese. And with an extra thick crust running up the sides, it was an amazing experience. Here's to having a brick insie of your tummy for all of the right reasons.

The beauty of cooking amazing food: You let go of any restrictions that you may or may not have. You just made something out of increbile ingredients. You made it. You get to nrousih your body and delight your taste buds. I cannot see the negatives in that. Can you?

We made Pate a choux, or the dough for protiferoles, cream puffs, and eclairs.

Chef made some gorgeous swans.

We broke out the fresh fruits and berries.

And made some fruit tarts.

Aren't they adorable?

I am not a pie or tart person. But these are amazing. The pastry cream with the fresh crusts and fruits work together to make a delightful sweet experience. I cannot wait to make desserts like this for the special people in my life.

We also had the opportunity to play with sauces and make some pretty art.

This is mine. Pretty, right?

We had fun making quite the dessert line up.

Including cool caramel decorations.

My favorite? Porbably the cream puffs. Dipped in chocolate ganache, of course. You see, I had quite the love affair with chocolate covered cream puffs when I was little. I would pop them in my mouth straight out of the freezer. Actually, I would sneak to the freezer to enjoy these little bites of heaven. These homemade versions did not disappoint.

This florentine cup is filled with dulce de leche ice cream and some caramel decoration. It reminds me of a sailboat, which is an appropriate way to end this post. I am excited to move forward from my relatively small slump.

I aspire to take in everything today for the good, the bad, and the in between.