Turn Your Wounds into Wisdom

"Turn your wounds into wisdom." ~Oprah Winfrey

Life is too short to regret anything that has happened. Everything you have ever done has led up to where you are now. Even those horrible moments or injuries that you try your hardest to forget.

Wound: An unhealthy relationship with food, exercise, and my body. I have struggled with restricting, overexercising, and bingeing.

Wisdom: Loving myself needs to come from within and it needs to happen now, not a few pounds later, not a diet later, not a month of hard workouts later. I need to relax, let go of "perfect", and take care of myself-body and mind. I have learned what makes me feel good. I have also learned that my eating disorder was such an effective coping mechanism that it will get triggered from time to time throughout my entire life.

Wound: A relapse

Wisdom: Relapses are like little red flags. They let me know that something is off kilter and not working. It lets me know that I may need a good yoga class, a relaxing shower, an art session, a phone call, etc.Emotoins are hard to deal with, even the great ones (actually, especially the great ones) and the stresses tend to make me yearn for my old coping mechanism. Also, a relapse will NEVER take away the effort I have put in and how far I have come.

Wound: Crying everyday while struggling to make myself finish my research.

Wisdom: I learned that I did not enjoy where my life was going or where it was while pursuing my Geology masters. I also learned that I am not the type of person who can suck up any job just for the money. Moving to Colorado to pursue culinary school was maybe a crazy decision, but my tears happen weekly or so instead of every day. I am happy because I know that I like where my life is going. I know that school isn't going to be easy, and any job in a restaurant I get isn't going to be all sunshine and rainbows, but I am at least excited about it. I want to talk about it. That is something I never wanted to do in terms of my research!

Being unhappy in grad school also led me to seek therapy and group therapy for my eating disorder. It made me motivated to get the help I needed. It also motivated me to join OPAS (theater organization) and pursue art. Then there is the fact that I found happiness in my blog and in the kitchen. I am not sure if I would have this blog, such a strong recovery, my art, or my cooking if it were not for Geology.

Oh, and there's the fact that I met Stephen in the first Geology lab I ever taught.

Wound: Chopping off the tip of my finger on Monday, my first day as Team Chef

Wisdom: As long as your team knows what to do, they will be fine without you. I learned that my class is full of incredible people. I received emails with well wishes, and everyone constantly checked up on me during the week. I am proud to report that my thumb is fine and now only requires two bandaids to protect it against the elements.

Yes, that is another cupcake from Tee and Cakes. I tried the hostess cupcake today. Not bad at all. I enjoyed the chocolate ganache on top instead of a lot of frosting. I think I am more of a minimal frosting person. The creamy center was also fantastic. Fluffy marshmallowy centers are never a bad idea. Then again, I like a lot going on in the middle of my cupcakes. I love fillings and/or chunks.

Look at that. Delicious! The swirly is red in celebration of Valentine's Day which is rapidly approaching! Tee and Cakes has a few additions to their menu in celebration on the holiday.

Lunch was a greilled cheese and avocado sandwich on Rudi's Bread that I am reviewing. I will have a review post in a few days after I use it for several different dishes and purposes. I am still loving this bread. As far as regular sliced bread goes, it is my favorite.

Dinner was another chicken meal. For some reason I am not very sick of chicken. I do like to change things up a bit, but I still look forward to a well cooked chicken just the same as I ever had.

I cooked up some brussel sprouts on the side.

These little babies will always be one of my favorite veggies. So delicious when they are cooked slightly crunchy. I hate mushy veggies, and brussel sprouts are one of those veggies that get mushy very easily. If you ever get the steamer bags, you will notice that those are a little soft. They are good, but nothing can ever take the place of well cooked, fresh brussels.

Sweet potatoes simmered until almost cooked and then roasted in the oven with olive oil, salt, and pepper. Perfect.

And the chicken. Simply roasted with olive oil and some spices until cooked through and juicy.

I love that chicken is so versatile and can be cooked in different ways. It is also one of the hardest proteins to cook correctly and well. Honestly, I have never had chicken issues, but I do notice that some techniques of cooking the bird are better than others.

The meal. So good.

With a serving of Ben and Jerry's. I need to do the ice cream thing more often, especially as a reward after a Monday-Wednesday of culinary school.

My favorite parts of today:

Helping out at work. I am still not officially on the schedule, but the manager said I could come in for an hour or two on days that he is not there to soak everything is. I get paid for the hours, I get to hang out with cool people, and I do get to learn!

Yoga class. I went to a class after work. It was needed. So needed!

I believe that there is a huge difference between practicing by yourself at home and practicing in a class.

At home benefits:

A home practice is free

You can practice any poses you feel like and can make sure you target everything you need to

You can practice whenever you want to

You do not need to be embarrassed by any weird sounds or noises that will inevitably come out of your body

Class benefits:

The energy in the room from everyone else practicing is incredible

You are challenged wth new poses you may not have done on your own

You are challenged to let go into more relaxed poses and stretches

You have someone to follow and do not need to think

I do believe that having both is very important. I love practicing at home. But I rarely get the yoga drunk feeling that I receive at the end of a good yoga class. Today I did not want to get up from my mat. I felt so...good. This is why I want to go to classes more regularly.

That is a goal for next month! I am interviewing for a daycare job at the gym. If I get the job, I get a free membership. Free yoga classes! If not, they have a special where you can just get a class pass. I promise to treat myself to one if I do not get the job.