Stress and BRINNER

Stress is always fun.

It causes you to revert to all of your coping mechanisms. It causes someone who is resolving to be nicer to herself spend money on herself to go to stores just for the shear pleasure of abstaining from buying anything.

I know that I do this to feel "superior" to everyone "weak" enough to spend money on things they "don't need". It's control...and funny enough, I feel like I have no control. The things is...I know that this makes me feel 100% worse. I wish this was a switch that I could simply turn off. I wish I could go into a store, like I did when I was younger, and experience no anxiety in regards to spending my money. I would go into stores and spend oney ust because I had it to spend. Now...there needs to be a reason to buy something. I have to "need" it. Of course, there are plenty of time when I talk myself out of something I need. You know, the essentials like shampoo and soap? Sometimes those get put back, too.

So what's a girl to do when a particular terrible instance of "shopping anxiety" strikes? Well, after a nice session of crying at Stephen, a deal is made. Stephen came up with a brilliant plan. He took out an index card and wrote "Astrid's spending money goal for January".

The stipulations are:

I need to set an amount of money between 100 and 300 to spend on myself each month
This can only be presents to myself
This does not involve food, gum, or usual things that I buy
I have to write down everything I buy for myself and make sure I reach the goal by the end of the month. Spending more is OK, GREAT even
Spending less...well that's just not meeting the goal
This can include lunch out, cool coffee drinks, dinner, etc. But...if I buy a meal for the two of us, only my portion counts.

For some reason. This helped. And I went right back out into the world to buy myself an eye mask (for better sleep, inspired by Susan) and a new journal for 2011. Not a bad start, right? You know, I never said life was easy...it isn't. However, life can taste pretty fantastic.

The best thing to eat for dinner before you leave for Puerto Rico without your boyfriend? BRINNER. It seriously is the cue for everything that ails you. Especially when you take the time and creativity to make it something phenomenal. I will not take all credit for this epic meal. Inspiration came from Joy the Bakers Brown Butter Winter Citrus Pancakes. Boy am I glad I was inspired.

The pancake batter is pretty basic, except that it has the very special addition of browned butter. I will tell you right now, that browning the butter makes a HUGE difference. You can taste the nuttiness in the pancakes. And you can see the brown bits in the batter. Awesome, right?

Brown Butter Pancakes with Brown Sugar Grapefruit Syrup (serves 2)

3 tbsp unsalted butter browned and set aside to cool

1 egg

3/4 cup cottage cheese processed to get the lumps out

1/4 cup skim milk

1/2 tsp almond extract

zest from one grapefruit

1 cup flour

t tbsp dark brown sugar

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp sea salt

1-2 large grapefruits segmented or cut up into pieces

Brown sugar and grapefruit syrup (recipe follows)

Whish together the egg, milk and cottage cheese, almond extract, and zest. Whisk in the brown butter until well combined. Set aside.

In another bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, baking powder, sugar, and salt.

Stir the wet and dry ingredients until combined. The batter will be slightly lumpy and this is okay!

Cook pancakes on a heated and buttered griddle.

Serve with some brown sugar and grapefruit syrup.

Brown Sugar and Grapefruit syrup

1/2 cup dark brown sugar packed

1/2 cup water

1 tbsp butter

juice from 1/4 of a grapefruit

In a saucepan, combine the sugar, water, and butter. Bring to a boil and allow to boil gently for about 12 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in the grapefruit juice. Stir stir stir until you have a syrupy consistency. Allow to rest.

Don't forget lots of grapefruit segments on top.

If you want, serve with some scrambled eggs.

And a sprinkle of tarragon on top. It's a nice touch, but not absolutely necessary. There are already many amazing flavors having a party on this plate.

And it is wuite the party. Seriously amazing. The browned butter makes the pancakes. Seriously. And the syrup and grapefruits? Oh my goodness. Trust me this is one brinner that will always be remembered.

Of course, I couldn't just stop there. I also decided to serve some bacon wrapped dates on the side. Added bonus: the dates are stuffed with cheddar cheese.

Bacon Wrapped Cheddar Cheese Stuffed Dates

Dates, pitted

1 small piece of cheese for each date

1 half of a bacon strip for each date

Preheat oven to 450 F.

Stuff a piece of cheese in each date.

Wrap each date with bacon.

Grill on a griddle or skillet for about 3-5 minutes until the bottom is nice and crispy.

Place bacon wrapped dates in the oven for about 10-15 minutes. Or until the bacon is cooked to your liking.

Serve and eat.

And enjoy. These little babies are the epitome of sweet and savory. Seriously amazing. These will be made in the future. Such a treat.

Some housekeeping:

I have organized my recipes on my Recipe page. Check it out.

Puerto Rico tomorrow! The next time you hear from me, I will be there. Have a good night!