Permission to enjoy life

"What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner." ~Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette

Life is spent too often in fast forward. We are always looking ahead as far as we can see, around every sorner we can find, to get where we want to go. We forget to live right now and realize that life is actually pretty cool in the present. I know that I am regularly guilty of living in the future. I forget to live in the now.

This is actually a huge trigger for me. I panic about what I should do during the lulls in my day. I want to have fun. I want to so something productive. Yet I focus too much on what I "should" do, and how I "should" be feeling. I end up with my head buzzing and many times I end up doing absolutely nothing...or something much worse.

Why can't I just let go of...everything...and just be in my life?. As it is. Not as I hope it will be.

So in honor of Sidonie-Gabrille Collete (French novelist), I am going to make myself a "permission slip" of sorts to enjoy my life right now

I, Astrid, have my permission to enjoy of life, especially savoring the following:

Daily phone calls with Stephen while navigating our new long distance relationship

Culinary school and the rush and fear that comes with being in the professional kitchen

A new job and cool people to interact with

The beautiful Colorado mountains that surround me during my daily walks

Falling in love with food writing by cool authors like Ruth Reichl and Anthony Bourdain

My blog as a great way to center myself

My yoga mat time

I will enjoy my life 5%...at least.

I was in a terrible head space this morning, because I couldn't figure out what to do with myself until work at 4. I ended up having a decent day and made myself a spectacular lunch. Lentils cooked with ginger, garlic, chili powder, and turmeric served over lots of spinach, roasted red peppers, zucchini, some yogurt, and bread. Delicious stuff.

I really wish that I can keep moving through my negative moods and crazy times inside my mind. When I actually ride it out and make it to the other side, I feel so proud of myself. Taking care of my emotions in ways like going for a calming walk, going through the racks and shelves at the Good Will, treating myself to a delicious chai at a coffee shop, doing laundry, singing at the top of my lungs, etc, is amazing and much better than any negative alternative.

I promise to enjoy my moments, even the crazy ones.